First she took from him his name. In its place she would call him what ever she desired at any given moment.
Then, when she received from him his assurance that he was more than just willing to make amends, that his life right now was meaningless unless he could prove his worthiness to her she determined a punishment that not only proved his sincerity but also in some small way might atone for his sin against her desire. He agreed. He agreed because he knew that Diedre was his life and without her he was reduced to an empty shell which would wither and perish into the oblivion he deserved.
Diedre summoned him. He obeyed as he said he would and would follow her instructions exactly as she demanded he do. When he arrived there was a note informing him that upon entering her threshold he was to do exactly as told without fail, without complaint. If he felt he could not do this for her, then there would be no purpose in his presence and he was to leave without question never to return. Taking a deep breath he understood and entered into her world. He found himself standing alone in her kitchen finding before him the signs of mundane toil in the form of a pail and scrub brush. On the table was another note which he read and then read again. He wondered if she were behind him... was she even there? It did not matter. He would do as she demanded. He stripped away the clothing he wore and placed it on the chair as instructed but not before removing another slip of paper and an object he had seen before but never actually considered at being more than a simple conversation item... a novelty to smirk and grin over. Her words though were written without humor and were as clear and precise as any he had ever understood before.
With no skill and much effort he finally placed it within him holding it securely until he had maneuvered himself to his knees. Only then did he dare take his hand away and was relieved to find that it remained intact and though the discomfort was real, it was not a discomfort he could not endure for her. He started in the far corner and as per her instructions cleaned working his way back to the far doorway. Wondering all the while if she were somewhere near watching him, observing him as he scrubbed and dried only occasionally pausing to secure the insertion that it would not betray his desire and slip from that most private of places.
Finally, he finished this task and as directed he crawled the short distance to the bathroom where she had arranged for him that required for his next duty. He wiped the walls, scrubbed the sink, scoured the toilet, and washed the floor. Now when he was certain that it was clean he crawled again, this time into the room with the open door exactly as her instructions had said. He closed the door behind him. There was the third and final note of his penance.
Obeying her commands he stood and went to the furthest corner of the room. Standing facing the wall he began to count out lowd... "One...Two...... " his voice was with volume but without timber taken by the fear that he might have again failed her. "Forty three.... forty four" Loudly he counted wondering how one so unworthy as himself could dare imagine that he could please this Goddess of all women.
"Seventy nine....Eighty" Her instructions had been precise. Especially these final few. "Ninety..." -at the count of one hundred you will open the door and drop to you knees, should you find your clothes your are to dress and leave and never to mention my name again. If instead you find nothing, then you are to crawl backwards, your elbows on the ground following a straight line until you find yourself before me- "Ninety nine.....One Hundred." He felt his heart jump and his pulse race. The palms of his hands had turn cold and damp.
With steps heavy with anticipation and slowed by anxiety he made his way to the door and opened it dropping instinctivly to his knees. He had closed his eyes
as if that action alone would make everything right. With a deep prolonged breath he slowly opened his eyes and found himself overcome with relief so much so that he wanted to cry out loud... to shout his joy and having pleased her. But he dared none of that. He dared do nothing that would jeopardize the fragile accomplishment he had achieved with his hard work and dedication to her.
As told he crawled backwards, once again aware of that object and suddenly knowing she was here he felt a rush of embarrassment and humiliation sweep over him, almost stopping him until shear will and desire forced him on. That she would see him like this, so violated, so vulnerable made his breath short and his hands grow colder. He had never before been so exposed, not to any woman and that he was as this before her, his Goddess, she who he worshipped and adored caused him an agony he had never knew could be felt.
He could see her now. Her feet were before him. He stopped as she had told him to do.
"Turn around." her voice was without compassion for him.
He did as she commanded.
Her hand brushed across the quivering flesh of his ass and his humility grew tenfold. That she was witness to this violation, that her eyes could see his him
so vulnerable... so weak and diminished.
"Emily. I will call you Emily today." she said and her gentle laughter bore through him, "The man of words... Emily."
"Yes Deidre." his whispered.
"Did I ask you're opinion, Emily?"
"No Diedre." again his voice was little more than a breath.
Suddenly the palm of her hand found him and he shudder from the sting across his flesh. "I didn't hear you..." Before he could respond her hand again found its mark, this time with more purpose, more intention. He winced, his breath shortened, but again she found the distance... he bucked sligthly, silently cursing himself for this display of weakness he was subjecting her to. For his movement she punished him in a series of short, purposefully falls of her palm upon his the flesh of his ass stopping as suddenly as she had begun. He did not move. He could sense her closeness and dared not move.
"On your knees only."
He brought himself upright. His face flushed and reddened. He watched her eyes and she looked at him, allowing her gaze to fall wherever she willed.
Diedre took a seat before him. His eyes fell to her feet and remained there as he knew her own were taking him in, inspecting every wretched inch of his being. He could feel that look bearing down on him and it diminished him further.
"For what purpose does Emily exist?"
He kept his head bowed, "I exist for Diedre."
"Why? What reason do you exist for her?"
He wanted so desperately to word himself right, to make certain that his thoughts were clearly defined. His hesitation though was but one more disapointment and he felt her foot press his chest and drive him back onto the carpet. Laying there sprawled and worthless, useless to his Goddess, a failure to his Mistress he shuddered and trembled.... reduced further drawing oblivion closer with every breath. "Please Deidre, forgive me... I exist for you..only you. I am for your pleasure, for you desire." He didn't dare look at her, "Please....forgive me."
He heard her rise and walk away, tears welled in his eyes at the thought that his failure had caused her so much disappointment and that now she would leave him there... nothing, empty, hollow, a speck of dirt upon the floor to be swept away.
Instead she crossed the room and took a seat far from him. "Come to me Emily."
He made no attempt to rise but instead dragged himself across the room begging his strength not to abandon him. This, pleased her. She watched him there before her and it pleased her that he finally understood this was where he belonged.
She reached down and tenderly removed the object she had chosen to symbolize his submission to her.
"Thank you, Diedre." his words were little more than a moan.
For that moan her hand once more rewarded his insubordination, this time only once, but harsher as if she were placing the ultimate punctuation to her displeasure,
"Emily will not speak unless Dierde desires." She rose and took her seat once more, "Repeat that!"
"Emily will not speak unless Diedre desires."
She could hear the contrition in his voice, it pleased her. His failure had been real, she would never forgive nor forget. Always he would know that he had proved himself inadequate to her. But, Diedre was not without compassion. He had performed his penance. He had tried to please her. But this was not about him. Nor would it ever be. There was no reason to give him a second thought other than for determining if he could serve her purpose at any given moment. "Get up...on your knees."
He struggled to bring himself off the carpet, finally with great effort he knelt before her his elbows to the floor his hands flat before him, his face deep into the carpet.
He felt her foot brush against his cheek. The fire of eternity blazed within him at her touch. She held his head cradled between her feet and drew it up from the floor, looking into her eyes he saw that she was no longer enraged with anger or cast in disapointment. His lips quivered as her feet pressed against him.
"Emily wishes to say something? Speak Emily."
"Please... let me worship you Diedre, let me adore you."
Her eyes drew into a scowl that burnt his soul, "Should I Emily? Should I allow you to serve me?"
"Yes, Diedre.. please." his words became a flood of emotions, begging her forgivness, pleading her indulgence. She listened for it did please her though feeble it was not without sincerity. He kept on, his voice coming and going with his emotion. She placed one foot on his thigh, the other she ran up his chest finally placing a toe over his lips, still he continued to beg and plead for her. She pressed her big toe between his lips to silence him and reward his acceptance that in his life she was his only concern.
She allowed him her feet for it gave her pleasure to watch him adore her. Her feet were the altar at which he would always worship. He would fail her again. That was certain. And again she would show her anger and disappointment. She would rename him at will, reminding him always of this first failure so that when it happened again... and it would, then he would forever appreciate the kindness and compassion she had shown him this first sin. For the next time she would not be so understanding.
"Emily?"
"Yes Deidre?"
She smiled... he knew who and what he was, and where he belonged. He was for her and that pleased her.
-the end-
